Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Remembering Mario...

Dear Mario, 
Where to start... You've been there for me since the beginning of my driving career. 
Shortly after we became a team, we were in a car accident together. Everyone thought you wouldn't make it, but you did. You're a fighter. Sure, we had to use bungee chords to make sure the trunk wouldn't fly up while driving. 
People laughed and mocked you, but you never let them get you down. You were there for me when I needed you the most. You got me to St. Louis and back. All the kids there loved you and they would sometimes hug you before they hugged me. You were a ray of sunshine to everyone you passed. Even though you were rusty and old on the outside, you still had a heart of gold. 
Today will be one of the saddest days for me... I am losing one of my best friends. I will always remember you. Even when your transmission started failing, you got me home safely from Denver. Even though the hail was threatening to further destroy your beautiful red paint, you kept going. You kept me safe because that was your number one goal. I'll never forget how you have selflessly helped me throughout the years.
Thank you, Mario. 
I will always remember you. 

Ok, but seriously now. 

I just got new tires and breaks so Mario would be ready for the long journey to St. Louis in 9 days.... and then the very day I got it back, the transmission went out! 

So this is me panicking really quickly: I don't have a job and I won't have a paycheck until December when I get back from Thailand. So the money I just spent to fix the tires and breaks was a waste and now I have to also buy a plane ticket so I can at least get to St. Louis, but I won't have a car while I'm there (which is fine- I don't NEED one, it's just easier for driving students around and such).

But I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to have faith like a child. 

Picture a tiny, newborn baby. They don't spend their time thinking "Oh no, what if mommy forgets to feed me? I just ate two minutes ago, but if I get hungry later, will she still feed me??" They just know she'll be right there and give them food when they're hungry. 

That's the faith I want to have. When things like this happen, I don't want to start panicking and think about all the other things I have to pay for (vaccinations, visas, plane tickets, clothing, etc.) I want to trust and know that God will provide. 
He doesn't just plop me in the ocean and say "Here kid, save yourself. Good luck and let me know how that works out!"

Because that would suck. 
No, He has called me to St. Louis and He has called me to Thailand. He's got it all under control. 

Please please keep me in your prayers, I'm feeling a little stressed right now and my flesh would rather go rob a bank and have money provide for myself than trust God with absolutely everything. Because that's just scary. 

My new favorite song is Oceans by Hillsong United. It's kinda my new theme song for the upcoming months. 

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith would be made stronger
In the presence of my savior

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