Overwhelmed by the amazing support and words of encouragement I've received, and also overwhelmed by life in general.
In midst of
-selling our house two days after putting it on the market and not being able to find a house to move into yet (We're supposed to move out on March 28. So please please be praying),
-working,
-doing an online school,
-tutoring three times a week,
-English as a Second Language on Sunday nights,
-working with youth group on Wednesday nights,
-filling out paperwork for my trip,
-filling out paper work from a car accident I was in a year and a half ago,
-filling out paperwork for church,
-filling out paperwork for St. Louis this summer,
-and also trying to sleep and eat,
-(not to mention freaking out about everything because I'm just stressed and that's one thing I do really well)
there's fundraising.
Let me say I love fundraising because it allows my people to be involved in this trip with me. But I hate it with a passion some days.
I can't control it.
God has called me to Thailand, so I'm confident He will raise the support needed, but I'm not in charge of who sends what and I can't predict which of my fundraising ideas will actually work.
I hate that.
I hate that I can't just snap my fingers and have my trip be fully funded.
HOW ANNOYING.
I've only been at this for a month and I've already fallen on my face multiple times.
But God has so much more planned through this fundraising than just providing money to go.
Because even when my printer stops working and I can't print off my letters, or my Etsy shop doesn't sell anything, or my pictures don't turn out as pretty as I wanted and my customers aren't satisfied, or when I stay up late working on a presentation board for church only to wake up sick the next morning and unable to go, God is still there. He is still in control, and He is still teaching me to trust Him with absolutely everything.
By the way, I'm a quarter of the way done. So ya, God provides. A lot.
Don't ask me why this is so frustrating still, because it's amazing and so encouraging how many people have responded so quickly and have offered tons of love, kind words, and prayers. (And they mean so much to me. Seriously. THANK YOU.)
The problem is that I should be praising God for the $2,000 that have already come in (because really now, it's only been a month!!), but instead I keep looking at the $6,000 and realizing how incompetent I am. And that is why I shouldn't be in control and I'm thankful that I'm not.
God,
I'm surrendering this to you. Again. For about the 34th time this month.
This is a little bit too much for me to handle because I'm weak and very pathetic and also super stubborn.
So here ya go, it's Yours.
Love,
Marissa
